Bloodsugar, why you gotta be like this?

I hate making a big deal about my diabetes. Hell, I hate even acknowledging it. But now at 2am, I feel the need.

Tonight I had a bowl of instant mac & cheese. 55g carbs. My bloodsugar was a little high at the time, 160, so I dosed 5 units instead of the 3 that should have worked.

At 10:30, I checked my bloodsugar and found a surprising 215. Shit.

Dose 5 units. 2 should have worked, but it seems like my old ratio of 1 per every 50 over has been failing lately.

1 hour later, I check again, expecting something nice and pleasant around 100. No, it's 271. It's gone up. A lot. So I raged bolused. A "bolus" is any injection of fast acting insulin in order to bring down blood sugar quickly, as opposed to a basal dose which is slow acting and provides a base level of insulin in the system. And the rage part, well that's obvious. I had given more than I should have earlier and saw reverse effects.

So I shot up with another 8 units. 4 should have done. Take that fucker.

But you see, the night isn't done yet.

While I was home for Christmas I had a surprising extreme low in which I didn't feel any of the usual symptoms, so I have to be more careful now. My body might not always clue me in. So I set an alarm for 1:30 to check my bloodsugar.

And what do you know, at 1:30, it was down to 45. Typically I should get the sweats and shakes at around 50, and I feel right as rain.

That didn't last long though.

I hate when normal healthy people complain because their bloodsugar is low. They might feel weak, or light headed possibly, but I would put $100 on it that their sugar is above 60, in the perfectly healthy range.

You do not know low bloodsugar.
You do not know the graving for carbs. Any carbs. Chips. Candy. Pop. Avoid fat, it slows the absorption. You feel like you haven't eaten in 2 weeks. Even if you just had a 2,000 calorie meal an hour ago.
You don't know the trembling hands and full body sweat.

So it's 2:15am and I'm sitting here, up since 1:30, drenched in sweat, trembling, chugging 16 oz of pepsi and eating tortilla chips like crazy. About 10x the carbs I need to fix the problem, which means I actually need another shot now so I don't end up near or above 300 again.

Put test strip in meter.
Prick finger.
apply blood.
125mg/dL. Good, coming back up.
Get out syring.
draw 4 units of air.
inject air into insulin bottle to balance pressure.
draw 4 units of insulin.
insert needle into tummy.
inject.
Wrap up blog entry.
Go to sleep.
Check bloodsugar in the morning.

---
Update. 7:30am.
Do you believe in coincidences? I'm not sure I do. Either it's a coincidence that my bloodsugar was 303 this morning, or the diabetes gods are somehow mocking me. Clearly I need to learn to control the carb cravings during a low.

For 5 hours, my bloodsugar must have been in the 300-400 range. Anything above roughly 140 is basically corrosive to your system. My eyes, nerves, heart, kidney, were all soaking in a nice sugar acid bath overnight.

By the way, when I was diagnosed with diabetes, my fasting bloodsugar was 300, just to put things in perspective.

Anyway, I'm done with this story. I only wrote it for me, to acknowledge the problems I do face, and quit living in denial.

Oh well. 9 units and 2 hours later, and it's back around a healthy 90. Of course, 4 units should have done it. I'm afraid to eat now. It might mess it all up again.

Winter Solstice

I was at a party lastnight, standing next to a friend listening to the other conversation bits. Two of the people there were a happy couple...

guy to girlfriend: I love you more than the day is long
Me to mike: That's an odd thing to say. Friday is the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year.

It was pretty funny at the time, I guess you had to be there.

Big Numbers

Big numbers are hard to comprehend. I just read this short way to put big numbers in perspective:

It takes only 11 1/2 days for one million seconds to pass.
Nearly 32 years for one billion seconds…
And nearly 32,000 years for one trillion seconds to pass us by.

Why space exploration is necessary

Phil over at Bad Astronomy Blog has a good post explaining just why space exploration is so important, in case anyone has forgotten exactly what we gain from it.

He also recently put NASA's budget into perspective: (emphasis mine)

A lot of people think NASA is a waste of time and money, and maybe this is why; they have a grossly overinflated idea of how much NASA spends. When NASA loses a $150 million probe, that’s a lot of real money, but hardly a drop in the bucket compared to what we spend as a nation (and remember, we spend $11 million per hour in Iraq).

So if you know anyone, including yourself, who honestly thinks NASA is a waste of money, go smack them upside the head for me.

Sick and tired of negative attitudes

Alright, I'm diabetic, I've covered that before. How often do I whine about how much it's changed my life or how much it hurts or how it alienates me? I don't. That's because all it is to me is an inconvenience. A chore. Some people brush their teeth after eating, I take a shot. Yes, I had to get over my fear of needles, but beyond that it's just a (slightly expensive) inconvenience.

I read some diabetes oriented websites and blogs to stay up on new treatments and such. It seems that the entire "community" of diabetics are a bunch of whiners who love to feel sorry for themselves. Specifically, Amy at diabetesmine.com and her readers. She's written a ton on the fancy wireless pump she uses that is so convenient. She knows how to ratio her insulin based on how many carbs she eats, and yet every chance she gets she complains about what a struggle it is and how thanksgiving is so troublesome because of all the danger foods.

GET OVER IT.

If I have a granola bar with 24g of carbs, I dose 1 unit of insulin.
If I have sweet & sour chicken with white rice, a total of 200g carbs, I dose 10 units. You see, my ratio is 1:20, so no matter what I eat I'm taking a shot, so what's the difference?

And I really don't think I'm "missing something." My A1c test scores have been 5.0 for a year. And just so you know, that's a better score than most normal people have.

Sorry, I just had to rant about all these people trying to tell me my life is ruined over such a trivial thing.

Rudy Jiuliani

“Freedom is not a concept in which people can do anything they want, be anything they can be. Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do.” - Rudy Giuliani

Want a good republican candidate? Ron Paul.

Sad video: Children with Diabetes

I stumbled upon this video this morning accidentally, and I admit it cut me pretty deep. Yeah, Diabetes can be a pain in the ass for me, but I've only had to put up with it for 1 year, as an adult. I cannot imagine how hard it is for the children out there who have to do finger pricks ~4 times a day, who have to take shots with every meal, and have an A1c done every 3 months. It's bad enough for a grown man, but for a child to have to bear that... it breaks my heart.

Watch the video, but only if you have some Kleenex nearby and you don't mind having puffy read eyes and nose for a while.

New photographic endevors

With turn from winter to spring and summer, my interest in photography has sprung back to normal. How can you not want to take pictures when the world is so bright and colorful? Snow just seems to kill it for me.

10-22mm Test 2

First, I became obsessed over a Canon 10-22mm wide-angle lens. I took a few test shots with one at Best Buy, but haven't purchased one yet.

I really like the way it creates leading lines, and you can do some pretty creative things with a close-up subject too.

I've also been thinking about trying to get into real-estate photography for some extra income. A wide lens would be very helpful.

However, my interest in a new lens went to the backburner again after I started reading strobist.blogspot.com. It's a site full of information on using off-camera lighting. "LESS GEAR • MORE BRAIN • BETTER LIGHT" is their motto. And so after reading everything on the site, I purchased a starter kit.

I have been loving it.

IMG_0164

There are too many pictures to post here, so check my recent flickr posts to see just how much I have been enjoying the flash. I've even had a few people ask me to take portraits and/or engagement photos of them.

From March til Now

Health Insurance + Diabetes
Ever since I was diagnosed with Diabetes (almost a year ago), I have been fighting with Anthem to get them to pay for such things as blood-glucose test strips (Anywhere from $.50 to $.86 apiece, 4-6 strips a day), and my initial education from the hospital on how to dose insulin/etc.

After calling them every week for about 10 months, they finally conceeded that Diabetes was NOT pre-existing, and so they will "cover" all my expenses.

What they didn't mention is that by "cover" they really meant "apply to deductible." So in the end, the fight was for jack shit. They owe me $0, it seems.

Erin moved in
On July 1, Erin moved out of her old apartment and into mine. The transition was subtle; she had already been spending all but a couple nights a week at my place. We just moved her computer and her clothes over, and bought a new dresser.

It's been great so far :)

That seems like about it, for big events.

Back at it

As it turns out, I suck at blogging. I figure, the people in my life like friends & family already know what is going on in my life, and does the world really need one more guy writing about his Exciting Thursday? I never could get the hang of Thursdays anyway.

But then from time to time something happens that really would make a good blog entry. I suppose I should write a few posts filling the world in on what's been goin on since March 22nd (my last post). ....